Gigantic Sequins: a literary arts journal
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​Teen Sequins 2022: Caitlin Villacrusis, Age 16 


nighttime routine for the seasonally-depressed
​

staying up until midnight / watching asmr (elf cafe roleplay) / rabbit-holing / watching 40-minute
videos on the birth of the universe (thank god for geniuses) / liking / crying / disliking (fuck
geniuses)
/ stalking my ex’s linkedin (fuck geniuses?) / calculating my chances for harvard (less
than 1%)
/ sighing, wishing i kissed him / stalking his friends’ linkedins (where to find stem
conversion therapy for failing writers)
/ calculating my chances for community college (hope is
human)
/ drafting an email to the guidance counselor / back-spacing / drafting an email to the
therapist / back-spacing / clawing at my lips / regretting (hurt is human?) / clipping the blood-
stained edges of my nails / cursing / crying / pressing frozen strawberries against my lips /
sighing, knowing he wouldn’t have kissed me / licking the blood off my lips (self-love + skin =
human?)
/ crying / googling signs of panic attacks / googling symptoms of anxiety / googling
session prices of psychiatrists (up to $300) / self-diagnosing / grasping the bathroom mirror /
embracing the bathroom mirror / embracing my face / ripping my face off / ripping my skin off /
clawing at my humanity / self-soothing / popping my least favorite pimples / tugging at the rest /
popping them all / pulling out the wiry pus (perhaps blood is just normal) / contemplating /
contemplating my appearance / contemplating my makeup face / contemplating my no-makeup
face / contemplating self-love / stop contemplating / monologuing as my ideal self, some elvish
queen / clawing my dreams out (treat them like pimples) / crying / staying up until 6 a.m. / hiding
between pages / hiding between pillows / hiding between space (ghost) / sleeping / eating /
breathing (human? human.)​
​

Caitlin Villacrusis is an aspiring Filipina-American poet, a passionate photojournalist, and a self-confessed
pessimist. A communications major and junior at a South Florida arts school, she reads for the literary
magazine and is the co-president of Creative Writing Club. She is a Miami Book Fair “Speak Up”
Ambassador and Poetry Mentee and has participated in the Kenyon Review Young
Writers Workshop, the Ellipsis Writing Online Workshops, and the BreakBread
Literacy Project’s Literary Apprenticeship. She is an avid fan of New York
School poets, Greek myths, and Marvel movies and can be found
on Instagram ​at @catrose2022 or Twitter at @caitlinvwrites.


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